Paths
This week was a hard one for me, I can't give you any particular reason as to why it was hard, or if anything specific happened that caused me to feel this way, but it just was.
I woke up in the morning and I couldn't get up, I just wanted to close my eyes and shut the world out for a bit longer. After a while of thinking about why I needed to get up I eventually dragged myself out of bed, putting the quilt back on straight. I got myself ready, I made a cup of tea and put my makeup on, and I did feel better as the day went on, but I just felt so tired, not just mentally, but physically tired. I almost feel guilty because there is no reason why I should feel this tired, I'm not working, so why do I even deserve to feel tired? What have I done to feel this way?
Life has felt heavy this week, heavy with thoughts and doubts about the future, what will happen, will it all be okay? Are my dreams just dreams, am I good enough?
Everything within me is telling me that this is the right path, if there even is a right path, I think that sometimes people have simpler and straighter paths, paths that lead straight to the destination, but for me I know that my path is different, and that's okay.
My head is telling me to be realistic, it's telling me that this path I want to take is unknown and not well walked, it's telling me that I'm not ready and that I'm not good enough. But my heart is screaming at me, urging me to take a leap of faith, to trust in myself and my ability, because if I don't then what's the point? What is the point in life if we keep doing the same things we've always done? Staying within our comfort zone and doing what everybody else does because it's easier, more stable, and it pays the bills.
I know in my heart that I'm not meant for that, and I have this feeling that there is so much more in the world for me, and this is just the start of it.
Hayley x
I woke up in the morning and I couldn't get up, I just wanted to close my eyes and shut the world out for a bit longer. After a while of thinking about why I needed to get up I eventually dragged myself out of bed, putting the quilt back on straight. I got myself ready, I made a cup of tea and put my makeup on, and I did feel better as the day went on, but I just felt so tired, not just mentally, but physically tired. I almost feel guilty because there is no reason why I should feel this tired, I'm not working, so why do I even deserve to feel tired? What have I done to feel this way?
Life has felt heavy this week, heavy with thoughts and doubts about the future, what will happen, will it all be okay? Are my dreams just dreams, am I good enough?
Everything within me is telling me that this is the right path, if there even is a right path, I think that sometimes people have simpler and straighter paths, paths that lead straight to the destination, but for me I know that my path is different, and that's okay.
My head is telling me to be realistic, it's telling me that this path I want to take is unknown and not well walked, it's telling me that I'm not ready and that I'm not good enough. But my heart is screaming at me, urging me to take a leap of faith, to trust in myself and my ability, because if I don't then what's the point? What is the point in life if we keep doing the same things we've always done? Staying within our comfort zone and doing what everybody else does because it's easier, more stable, and it pays the bills.
I know in my heart that I'm not meant for that, and I have this feeling that there is so much more in the world for me, and this is just the start of it.
Hayley x
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